~My Unstable Feeling~

I really can't deal with my feeling anymore...

feeling so unstable now...

I feel like this and at the next second it's just swing like that...

It's not only affect me,I know that...

It's affect people surround me...

But what can I do...

I can't really control how I feel now and later...

Knowing that I have this problem even making me stress thinking how am I going to stop all this...

I know that I not at the state where I am going to hurt myself...

But I am too afraid that I will reach that step without knowing that I am getting worst...

I want to tell someone...

But I don't who the person is...

It's not like I want to get that attention...

It's really hard to tell someone that don't understand my state...

For some of you out there think that what in my mind is nothing...

But it's really bothering me right now...

I want to stop those voices in my mind...

But the stronger the will,the louder the voices get into me...

Lot of people out there seeing that I am smiling...

But really,it's tiring to provide that smile...

I feel like I am a doll...

That is being control...by no one...

I can't control myself...

Just sometime can force myself to smile...

Hearing someone say you have a beautiful smile really make me happy...

But it's also making my heart to bleed at the same time...

This is all for today...

Writing really make me feel a bit better...

So please don't say that I do this for getting anyone attention...

Just to heal myself...